Books by and for independent women

Naked Girls Reading London

Naked Girls Reading. Yes, it really is just what it says on the tin. A live event featuring girls reading naked. Curious? So was I. I didn’t need much persuading to agree to check out the concept on behalf of For Books Sake.

The brainchild of performers Michelle L’amour and Franky Vivid, Naked Girls Reading launched two years ago in Chicago and events have since proved popular in cities across the States and beyond.

Last Wednesday marked the European première with the début of Naked Girls Reading London. With further franchises planned soon for Melbourne, Portugal, Ottawa and Bristol, it won’t be long before a Naked Girls Reading comes to a town near you.

The seemingly promising pairing of books and boobs certainly succeeded in enticing in plenty of (fully clothed) bums on seats at a secret Dalston location. Up a winding staircase, through a door marked ‘Table Tennis’, we were welcomed into the decadently dilapidated study-cum-boudoir atmosphere upstairs.

The intimate space was soon packed with people who had willingly exchanged £15 for the chance to experience a bit of ‘tit-lit’ (as I’ve now named it) for themselves. Whether they had come for the novels or the nipples was hard to tell, with an even mix of ages, genders and styles.

From leopard print wearing ladies and vintage-styled couples to suited city boys and students. I even spotted the statuesque redhead from Saturday night trashy TV show Take Me Out amongst the crowd (who I’m pleased to report was accompanied by a rather dapper moustachioed man).

Soon, attention turned away from admiring the taxidermy and antique oddities on the walls and everyone made sure they had a good view, as Antipodean hostess Sophia St Villier introduced the other naked girls: Emerald Fontaine, Rubyyy Jones and Tallulah Tempest.

After they’d paraded out to take their places on a large red velvet chaise longue, Sophia explained that they’d be reading a wide selection of literature, both contemporary and classic, all inspired by the theme of London.

In the voice of the M&S adverts, “these are not just naked girls reading, these are naked burlesque girls reading”. Far from au naturel, Naked Girls Reading presents a particular brand of naked that involves red lipped, pearly white smiles and fake eyelashes.

Porcelain skin is indeed bare but with glitzy gemstone jewellery, gold high heels and roses adorning perfectly preened vintage curls. The four women sat demurely, as still and lifeless as the headless mannequins and vintage lampshades around them.

Passing the first book, Dickens’ Oliver Twist, between them, they began reading. Naked. Reading in the altogether in a not altogether accomplished manner, it turns out. I began to sense that I may not be treated to the aural pleasure I had eagerly anticipated.

Nude or not, the women’s physical appearance quickly became irrelevant, unable to distract from their distinctly lacklustre reading of classic works of literature that included Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray and Evelyn Waugh’s Vile Bodies.

They stumbled through the chapters making several mistakes, misplacing emphases and struggling with pronunciations. Whether caused by nerves, boredom or lack of connection with these particular texts, it was hard to tell, but I wondered how I would manage to sit through three hours of such stilted reading.

I noted that many of the texts featured were neither written by women or even from a female perspective that would allow the readers to connect to the narrative and I wondered if this may be hindering their readings.

I’m sure these women are each very talented performers when within their cabaret comfort zones, capable of entrancing audiences with their tassle twirling, but relying on their voices to hold the audiences attention did evidently not come as naturally to all of them.

When I asked one of them at the end how she found her first time experience of reading naked in public, she replied, “The naked part was easy, I do that all the time. The reading was the hard bit for me. I was really nervous about that. I felt the pressure of getting it right for the audience.”

To give her credit, rubenesque Rubyyy Jones was actually one of the more enjoyable to listen to. Allowed to lighten the mood with Russell Brand’s autobiography My Booky Wook 2, she indulged the audience with teasing flashes of the expression and wit that she was capable of as a performer.

However it was quite bizarrely incongruous for this misogynistic anecdote to be told by a woman with an American accent. I’d like to have seen what Rubyyy could do given some erotica, satire or horror to play with.

A highlight of the evening was Tallulah Tempest’s impassioned reading from Angela Carter’s Wise Children. A self-confessed Carter fan, the transformation was quite dramatic as she enthused about her ability to identify with the novel and love for the language.

Instantly she switched from reading robot, to a real life naked girl, her voice coming alive as she finally allowed herself to read in her authentic Cockney accent. Cheeks flushed, she relished being able to become a character with which she could closely identify and relate to.

Given the right choice of fiction, including more poetry within the selection and allowing the women reading to choose themselves what they’d like to read, Naked Girls Reading has the potential to improve.

To become an evening of warm sensuality, celebrating the female voice and body and perhaps even with a few naughty words thrown into the bargain, or at least a suggestive raise of the eyebrow.

There is no reason why burlesque and literature can’t work well as bedfellows; indeed there is a rich tradition between the two that goes back to Gypsy Rose Lee who both included recitations in her performances and was herself a published author.

There are some tweaks that can easily be made to improve future London events. Many of the criticisms noted by the audience (the distraction of the over-zealous official photographer’s camera, the frequent interruption of the front door intercom, the nerves of the readers and length of the evening) can quite easily be resolved and I hope that they will be in time.

If you’re looking for stimulating storytelling, there are plenty of other literary salons that will give you much more satisfaction. If you’re looking for nudity, there are plenty of fantastic burlesque and life drawing nights that’ll give you a lot more flesh for your pound.

However, if you’re looking to try something different, fancy a novel night out and you want to make up your own mind, the next Naked Girls Reading London takes place on April 20th. The location is a secret but we can reveal that the theme will be ‘A Very Royal Reading’ so you can expect tributes to Kate and Wills.

What will they be reading, I wonder? What would you most like to be read naked at future events?

Nikki Shaill

(Photo courtesy of Tigz Rice)