Books by and for independent women

There are a Million Stories…by Fiona Helmsley

A slim volume, nearly crushed under the Morrisette-esque title, There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City When You’re A Girl Who Gets Naked in The Naked City falls about 9,999,98 short, as it features just 2 autobiographical short stories: the eponymous A Million Stories… and Hard.

Helmsley has been previously published, in the thirteenth Bad Luck edition of Air In the Paragraph Line zine. In a 2010 interview on author Janice Erlbaum’s site girlbomb, the former punk rocker discusses the themes in Million Stories… and the reasons why she got into the sex industry; following in the footsteps of the likes of Courtney Love to become a better artist through sex work ‘boot camp’, and exploring external validation of her attractiveness ‘through retail value’.

Million Stories… grips us by a grimy hand and takes us down into the sleazy New York underbelly, into a friendly local ‘jack shack’, LUV, where the girls dance and the men wank.

Setting the scene over a lunch with fellow junkie and idle-rich drifter George, Fiona relates the tale of big-breasted liar, junkie and all-round annoying little shit Renee, whom she takes under something of a wing and gets a job at LUV.

Renee repays Fiona’s kindness by taking drugs in the open, taking the piss, taking Fiona’s regulars, and taking off after one binge too many, and a contretemps with one of Fiona’s fellow LUV girls.

The second story, Hard, lurches from a terrible breakup with a gay-but-in-denial cheating ex, Henry, to a grimy fling with equally ghastly racist-but-well-hung Perry, a throwback from Fiona’s old post-punk-rock smackhead days. She knows it’s wrong, but he’s sexy as hell and has a massive cock to get on, she an ex-boyfriend to get over. Needs must, but needs aren’t quite met…

Hard was the better of the two stories. It jumped straight into the action and fizzed with raw pain, sexual energy, and humour. I liked the witty touches – Perry’s little problem (you know, the one we tell guys is ‘no big deal’) is put down to ‘ascension deficit disorder’.

Million Stories… felt more meandering – we could have done without the story being bookended by telling the story to George; also another, probably more interesting story, about Fiona’s work at LUV kept threatening to jump out.

The theme of female friendship would have been more compelling if the focus was on Fiona’s relationships with the other LUV girls; the brief ‘friendship’ with Renee was your classic ‘soft touch/manipulative user’ kind. While it could have provided a neat contrast to the Fiona’s more solid friendships, I’m not sure it deserved centre stage.

The writing itself needed tightening; pretty words (‘desirous’?), and linguistic flourishes, which aimed high but came off as a little clumsy and gauche, threatened to get in the way of the point and a good story.

I didn’t want to like Million Stories… but the warmth and wit won me over. More stories and a better editor, please!

There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City When You’re A Girl Who Gets Naked in The Naked City is available in paperback or download now, from Lulu.com.

Rating: 3/5

Other recommended reading: If you liked this, then you’ll like the Best Sex Writing anthology series from Cleis Press. Provocative and thoughtful reading for filthy, inquiring minds.

Georgina Copeland

(Image via friedmanlynn‘s Flickrphotostream)